tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65163976547612778332024-03-13T09:00:35.579-05:00The Journal of Crit'rolElan the Bard of Evensonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10903191728555963591noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6516397654761277833.post-34023541873698573962015-09-28T10:35:00.001-05:002016-01-05T15:18:53.250-06:00Episode 7: A New Beginning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">Well,
hell was strange. There was a lot of fire. And brimstone. I can't seem to get
the smell of Sulfur off my cloak. And the suddenly turning into an Archedeamon
is not a fun experience, let me tell you. Perhaps I should start from the
beginning as most good stories do, except this isn't a very nice story as you
might have already gathered by now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">There
I was minding my own business, trying not to worry about the growing dissent
within our ranks when suddenly the party decided it had gotten bored of travel
by road and ventured forth into the enchanted woods. Now there are many
different kinds of "enchanted" and this was was NOT the good kind.
One demonic conversion later, I found myself slightly redder and a whole lot
bigger. My memories of this time are foggy at best but I feel like a great many
evil deeds went down during this particular phase or at least that's what the
voices tell me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">When
I finally came to, I found myself in a completely different land. I am not
quite sure what they even call it. I found myself with ample coin in my purse
and a pair of Half-Orcs in my company. Not the brightest flames in the forest
but they are reliable and can swing a sword well enough. We were later joined
by a Cleric of some disrepute, a Ranger with an animal problem and a Rogue with
an affinity for flaming birds. With this rag tag band I have been travelling
for a few months now. I believe their objective is hunting dogs of some kind or
the other (not sure, wasn't really paying attention to the Half-Orcs - I can never
follow their accents) but all we've encountered so far are dragons, wyverns,
giants and orcs. Not to say this particular venture hasn't been
"lucrative" to say the least. So much so that due to limited carrying
capabilities, the party is dreading finding more treasures to have to lug
around during our travels!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QK09rIgrKKE/VglcAMUNISI/AAAAAAAAADw/KY0xNkpN9d8/s1600/Conflicted.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="296" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QK09rIgrKKE/VglcAMUNISI/AAAAAAAAADw/KY0xNkpN9d8/s640/Conflicted.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">And
so as always, I leave you dear reader, with a composition of my own making that
accurately summarizes my experiences so far (this time in a form I picked up
from a certain eastern gentleman during an incursion into a certain
disappearing tower):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">Turned demonic, pillaged and plundered<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">To a distant land I wandered<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">Searching for forgotten music<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: background1;">- A Haiku by Elan the Bard of Evensong<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Elan the Bard of Evensonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10903191728555963591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6516397654761277833.post-91483090383538564782015-06-21T23:15:00.002-05:002015-07-09T13:24:54.839-05:00Episode 1: The Hamleton Massacre<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;">Our journey begins with the peaceful
hamlet of... er... Hamleton.. Yeah.. that's right, that's what we'll call it...
"Hamleton". So anyway, fate has conspired to bring a curious group of
individuals together on a sleepy Summer's day to this dreadfully boring and
seemingly uneventful Village where there couldn't possibly be anything more
scarier than a grumpy cow or two and the only thing people do for fun is watch
the green grass grow and the West Winds blow (unless you count "going to
the Woods to look for animal companions and almost getting knocked out by
Satyrs" as fun... dammit Janine >_>).<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We have with us the brave Ser</span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><b><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jörgen Lanstalk</span></b><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, faithful knight under Duke Estal of Resilos who is as
courageous as a Lion, as loyal as a Rock and as cheap as a Duck- er.. never
mind that (/ooc <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw6EjB8KjFU"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></i><i>cheap as Duck?</i></a>), where was I ? Ah yes,
the nimble-footed young ranger, <b>Janine </b>a.k.a <b>Anna </b>of
the Whisper-water-falling-down Woods with her uncanny fascination for
befriending beasts and stealing shiny stuff. Among the townsfolk we see the brave
fighter of certain disrepute.. yes that's right... I meant "dis"repute.
You heard me... <b>Mirran</b> "Giant-bane" (/ooc <i>pronounced
side-DM</i>) sharpening his Great Sword and in the taverns we see myself, <b>Elan </b>the
Bard of Evensong, singer, performer, actor-extraordinaire and your faithful
chronicler of this eventful journey.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now that we have all of that out of the way, what was so
special about this Village, this Town of near "-6
Intelligence-penalty" causing excitement, you ask, dear Reader ? With not
a marketplace or blacksmith in sight and no traders anywhere to be found, with
suspiciously watered-down Ale (I'm looking at you Madame Helga) and <a href="http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Poulet-de-Provencal/Detail.aspx?evt19=1&referringHubId=2264">Poulet de Provencal</a> that smelled
suspiciously like Troll feces (how do I know what Troll feces smells like...
don't ask) ? Why were our courageous Companions guided by the hands of fate to
meet in this particular place, at this particular time ? Well it's really
simple you see. In this particular Village, there lived an old man named <b>Elrath </b>(his
buddies call him Elarth the "Devourer", Reaper of Souls, Creator of
Succubi, Unnecessarily-mean-to-Cats) who by some chance or mischance happened
to catch the eyes of this particular band of misfits and miscreants and the
rest as they say in Bardic Lore Collage... is Comedy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They say a picture speaks a thousand words. With that in
mind, here is a little sketch that sums up our next few hours in the quaint
little county of Hamleton (picture <a href="http://feywinds.com/">courtesy</a>):<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;">(/ooc: <i>This
is what you get for trying to derail the main story-line by the way... Sorry DM
^^"</i>) So I burnt the Hut.... Obviously... What's a Bard to do ? Turns
out, that didn't work out too well for us. It was on this day that I learnt
Vampires could turn into bats. And wolves. And could one-shot-kill most
experience-challenged adventurers (/ooc: <i>The politically
correct term for level 1 n00bs like us</i>). Our losses were... severe...
to say the least. In fact, Ol' <b>Jörgen </b>and I ran... er-... I
mean... made an "Expeditious Retreat" to regroup and recover. And
that is how my journey in the Land of Hareshki began: A pissed of Vampire Lord,
a newly abandoned Township and two dead Companions right off the bat. And it wasn't
even half past 10 yet. In memory of my fallen Comrades, I compose the following
ballad so they may ever be immortalized in the magic of song (/ooc <i>Now
new and improved to rhyme better</i>)...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Oh hear the sad tale of the Rogue and the Fighter,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Who knew not any fear, a troll would be brighter...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>They broke into an Old Man's Hut,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>With that Chaotic action, they sealed their fate Shut...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Turns out, you guessed it, no Old Man was he,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Time and again our heroes were warned to flee...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>From the depths emerged Elrath the Devourer,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>All our poor adventurers could do was cower...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>And in the end there was one who saw,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>And lived to tell the tale to all...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Heed this warning all you brave Knights and Champions,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Least you end up like Elan's dead Companions...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;">And
with that Dear Reader, we come to the end of this chapter. Until next time,
Fare Thee Well and remember, never trust an Old Man who can eat a 5 lb. fish in
one sitting...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Elan the Bard of Evensonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10903191728555963591noreply@blogger.com6